Because It Isn't Lady Like and He Will Be Gay

       This week we were asked to write about a time we were told we could not do something based on gender. I have two I want to write about the first one about myself the second about my son.  The first story is from when I was in the around 13 or so. I live in the country and we do country things. We ride 4-wheelers and play in the woods and stay out past dark. The thing that stands out most for me is that one night my brother and the rest of my neighborhood (all boys) were riding 4-wheelers in the woods. We had been out all day riding and playing in the mud. When it got close to being dark my grandpa called me in. He let my brother stay out and build a fire and roast weenies in the woods with the rest of the boys. He told me when I asked why I couldn’t stay out that it was because it was not lady like to stay out past dark especially with boys. It made me so mad.

The second story is about my son. My son is 18 months old. He loves stuffed animals and shopping. He loves shoes. I get told on a regular basis that if I don’t stop letting him play with his animals and go shopping with me and he is going to be “gay”. I get told that if don’t let him play with more balls and let him get more bruises and hurt more than he is not going to be tough or a manly man. I think my son is perfect even if he loves animals. I think he has to like shopping because he is my only son and my best friend. I don’t do anything without him. He likes shoes because he can put them on himself so he feels like a big boy.

It upsets me to know that I could not play after dark because it was not what a girl did. It upsets me even more to know that at only 18 months old my son is already stereotyped because he doesn’t  have bruises and broken bones, and because he isn’t seen playing with the “boy” stuff as much as not. But in his defense I bought him trucks and cars and balls. He loves those too.